The Art of Life Coaching
Teaching was my stepping stone into coaching. These services are related enough to give me a sense of logical progression, but they are substantially different in their required mindset and approach.
As a high school teacher, I was encouraged to educate in the modern style of facilitation as opposed to traditional chalk and talk lecturing. I was also often invited by students to give my perspective on tertiary study and career options.
Almost certainly due to these experiences, I took a decisive interest in life coaching courses that were offered online during the lockdown of 2021.
The process of life coaching other people is challenging, even for someone with a strong teaching background. Teaching and coaching in the context of sport both involve plenty of advice giving. Life coaching, no matter the niche, is about guiding clients to their own answers. This approach is built on the recognition that each person is the best expert on him-or-herself.
Mentoring can be provided in addition to life coaching, in which case there is a clear tendency towards advice. However, to the extent that the requested service is life coaching, the coach avoids suggesting answers. This requires the coach to avoid leading questions that could steer the conversation to particular solutions.
This approach is unnatural for a traditional school teacher. It’s somewhat natural for a modern-style facilitator teacher. Even so, life coaching is more extreme facilitation than many teachers can reasonably be in a classroom or even one-to-one tutoring, where time constraints necessitate some shortcuts and outright spoon-feeding.
A teacher, tutor, mentor or sports coach is expected to have substantially more expertise than the student in the subject of the service provided. In sharp contrast, the coaching client (or coachee) is considered to have substantially more expertise in the subject of the service provided. That subject is the coachee, the coachee’s life or some aspects of it.
The life coach has to ignore their own preconceptions and their desire to offer answers. The default position for most service providers when presented with a problem is to aim to provide a solution. The default for life coaches is to ask questions that will help the coachee to gain clarity so that they can provide their own solution.
Life coaching demands a lot of self-discipline and especially patience from the coach. Asking relevant and beneficial questions is challenging, especially while avoiding leading ones that would take the coachee down a path the coach considers to be the right one.
Life coaching also requires solid trust between the coach and coachee. The coach needs to convince the coachee of the confidentiality of the sessions. Even more than in teaching, the coach has to put the coachee at ease so that they open up with willingness to be vulnerable. Only then will the truth emerge. This is the foundation for the solution.
Attentive listening is essential to the avoidance of suggesting solutions. It requires listening carefully while the coachee describes their issues. This in turn requires not trying to think of the next question while the coachee is speaking. Listening mode must be kept uncontaminated by silent rehearsal for replying.
Life coaching benefits both the coachee and the coach because the former gets clarity for finding a solution and the latter gains insights into their own challenges via pearls of wisdom that the coachee brings to light.
